सिर्फ़ एहसास है ये…

Hindi films generally use music to express emotions. Background music and songs are the usual shorthand for sharing the characters’ states-of-mind with the audience. For instance, happiness is generally portrayed through sitar or santoor, sorrow through violins or sarangi, fear and excitement through percussion instruments, auspicious occasions through shehnai.

I feel that the emotion of love can only be adequately expressed through music. There are plenty of songs that express what lovers feel for each other. But how many songs exist that can adequately explain what the meaning of the word ‘love’ is? Feeling love and explaining love are entirely different – the first is related to the emotions, the second to the intellect.

Words seem insufficient for the explanation or expression of what love actually is: the sheer multiplicity of the feelings love excites on so many different levels, the synesthetic* pleasure of the experience of being in love, cannot be rendered accurately in words. That is why one comes across such ludicrous ideas as the beloved's eyes being compared to the sun and the moon at once (‘तेरे मेरे सपने अब एक रंग हैं’ (Guide, 1965)) (even if this is too literal, I always imagine the woman in question with mismatched eyes), or the man's having to prove his love by acquiring rather useless items such as the moon or the stars, or the couple pledging eternal love and loyalty and happiness in each other's company to the exclusion of all other things necessary to sustain life such as food or shelter (‘सौदागर सौदा कर, दिल ले ले दिल दे कर’ (Saudagar, 1991)) (I do not mention clothing as being ignored because the censor board's disapproval generally keeps the filmwallas more or less in line). Sometimes the lyrics are rather sensitive in the ideas they express but seem clichéd in the manner of expression. While love is the same for all, why should its expression be so plastic-like and artificial simply due to an excess of repetition?

Some lyricists, however, have done justice to the myriad feelings love evokes. A rather good expression is to be found in the song ‘एक लड़की को देखा तो ऐसा लगा', from 1942, A Love Story (1993). The young man is so bewildered by all the many many things that he feels on seeing the girl of his dreams that he does not know how to express all of them aptly. Her beauty and his feelings for her become inextricably linked and he tries to do justice to his emotions by trying to express himself by drawing various comparisons to things on the physical and transcendental plane: she is like a blooming rose, a sandalwood fire, a poet's dream. The song is startling in the lack of conclusion it offers — the young man just keeps trying out various comparisons and is dissatisfied with them all; he finally gives up. She cannot be adequately expressed through words and neither can his feelings for her.

एक लड़की को देखा तो ऐसा लगा, जैसे खिलता गुलाब, जैसे शायर का ख्वाब, जैसे उजली किरन, जैसे बन में हिरन, जैसे चाँदनी रात, जैसे नरमी बात, जैसे मन्दिर में हो एक जलता दिया… एक लड़की को देखा तो ऐसा लगा!

एक लड़की को देखा तो ऐसा लगा, जैसे सुबह का रूप, जैसे सरदी की धूप, जैसे वीणा की तान, जैसे रंगों की जान, जैसे बलखायें बेल, जैसे लहरों का खेल, जैसे खुशबू लिये आये ठंडी हवा … एक लड़की को देखा तो ऐसा लगा!

एक लड़की को देखा तो ऐसा लगा, जैसे नाचता मोर, जैसे रेशम की डोर, जैसे परियों का राग, जैसे सन्दल की आग, जैसे सोलह श्रृंगार, जैसे रस की फुहार, जैसे आहिस्ता आहिस्ता बढ़ता नशा … एक लड़की को देखा तो ऐसा लगा!

In my opinion the best expressions of the ‘idea of love’ in Bollywood songs have come from the pen of Gulzar. He is the one living poet writing for films who has a truly poetic sensibility, and by ‘poetic sensibility’ I mean that he sees the world through lenses different from those used by most people. When he looks at the world, he thinks in poetry. Some of his thoughts are, of course, beyond the understanding of simple and ordinary minds like mine, but what I do understand of his work tends to make considerable impact.

‘हमने देखी है उन आँखोंकी महकती खुशबू’ (Khamoshi, 1969) is a rather lovely and intelligent portrayal of the grand emotion of love. Consider the lyrics:

हमने देखी है उन आँखोंकी महकती खुशबू हाथ से छूके इसे रिश्तों का इलज़ाम न दो सिर्फ़ एहसास है ये रूह से महसूस करो प्यार को प्यार ही रहने दो कोई नाम न दो प्यार कोई बोल नहीं प्यार आवाज़ नहीं एक ख़ामोशी है सुनती है कहा करती है ना ये बुझती है ना रुकती है ना ठहरी है कहीं नूर की बूंद है सदियों से बहा करती है

मुस्कराहट सी खिली रहती है आँखों में कहीं और पलकों पे उजाले से झुके रहते हैं होंठ कुछ कहते नहीं कांपते होंठों पे मगर कितने ख़ामोश से अफसाने रूके रहते हैं The confusion of the senses and the riot of colour and emotions experienced have been portrayed rather wonderfully.

Another similarly beautiful expression of love is to be found in the song 'मेरा कुछ सामान तुम्हारे पास पड़ा है’ (Ijaazat, 1987).

मेरा कुछ सामान तुम्हारे पास पड़ा है सावन के कुछ भीगे भीगे दिन रखे हैं और मेरे इक ख़त मैं लिपटी रात पड़ी है वो रात बुझा दो, मेरा वो सामान लौटा दो पतझड़ है कुछ!

पतझड़ मैं कुछ पत्तों के गिरने की आहट कानों मैं एक बार पहन के लौट आयी थी पतझड़ की वो शाख अभी तक काँप रही है वो शाख गिरा दो, मेरा वो सामान लौटा दो

एक अकेली छतरी मैं जब आधे आधे भीग रहे थे आधे सूखे आधे गीले, सुखा तो मैं ले आयी थी गीला मन शायद बिस्तर के पास पड़ा हो वो भिजवा दो, मेरा वो सामान लौटा दो

एक सौ सोला चाँद की रातें एक तुम्हारे काँधे का तिल गीली महेंदी की खुशबु, झूठ मूठ के शिकवे कुछ झूठ मूठ के वादे भी सब याद करा दूँ सब भिजवा दो, मेरा वो सामान लौटा दो

एक इजाज़त दे दो बस जब इसको दफ़नाउन्गी मैं भी वहीं सो जाउंगी

What an exquisitely delicate and gossamer-thin thought! What else is love but the memory of shared every-day experiences? This is why Gulzar’s expression of the grand passion seems so much more convincing as compared to the artificial comparisons and impossible ambitions of other Hindi film lyricists.

I feel that the near-impossibility of expressing the true feelings of love results from the dichotomy of heart and brain. Language comes from the conscious mind and is the product of the brain. One needs to learn language. It is not in-built into the human organism, although the hardware for language acquisition and production is present by default. Language is, thus, rather like software that needs to be installed before it can be used. Also, the very act of comparing diverse entities or objects implies the use of thought — a conscious activity. Hence, when love is expressed through comparisons it seems somehow not genuine enough, or not profound enough. It gives me the impression that the lovers say these things because they feel they are expected to say them, not because they really feel them.

Emotions, on the other hand, come from the unconscious mind and are present in the human organism at birth. An infant can feel distress or happiness, even if it lacks the ability to express the exact state of mind through language. Besides, not only are deeply-felt emotions in-built, they are also beyond language. Have you never felt yourself become speechless through excessive fury or joy or sorrow? True and genuine emotion cannot really be rendered in language.

Hindi film songs that express heartbreak or love or happiness, therefore, do not ring true. Deeply felt emotions are wordless, or are a hopeless mix of ideas: they’re not capable of coherent expression because they’re not intellectually felt, they’re just experienced.